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We Need a little Humor

  • Another one of those "Don't know if it's real or not, but..." storys...

    Now some people are really stupid!!!!
    Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die.

    This is so priceless, and so, so easy to see happening, customer service being what it is today.

    A lady died this past January, and Citibank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00 when she died, but now somewhere around $60.00. A family member placed a call to Citibank.

    Here is the exchange:

    Family Member: 'I am calling to tell you she died back in January.'
    Citibank: 'The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.'
    Family Member: 'Maybe, you should turn it over to collections.'
    Citibank: 'Since it is two months past due, it already has been.'
    Family Member: So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?'
    Citibank: 'Either report her account to frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!'
    Family Member: 'Do you think God will be mad at her?'
    Citibank: 'Excuse me?'
    Family Member: 'Did you just get what I was telling you - the part about her being dead?'
    Citibank: 'Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor.'

    Supervisor gets on the phone:

    Family Member: 'I'm calling to tell you, she died back in January with a $0 balance.'
    Citibank: 'The account was never closed and late fees and charges still apply.'
    Family Member: 'You mean you want to collect from her estate?'
    Citibank: (Stammer) 'Are you her lawyer?'
    Family Member: 'No, I'm her great nephew.' (Lawyer info was given)
    Citibank: 'Could you fax us a certificate of death?'
    Family Member: 'Sure.' (Fax number was given)

    After they get the fax:

    Citibank: 'Our system just isn't setup for death. I don't know what more I can do to help.'
    Family Member: 'Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. She won't care.'
    Citibank: 'Well, the late fees and charges will still apply.'
    (What is wrong with these people?!?)
    Family Member: 'Would you like her new billing address?'
    Citibank: 'That might help...'
    Family Member: ' Odessa Memorial Cemetery, Highway 129, Plot Number 69.'
    Citibank: 'Sir, that's a cemetery!'
    Family Member: 'And what do you do with dead people on your planet???'

    (Priceless!!)
    You wondered why Citi is going broke and need the feds to bail them out!!

    This post has been edited 2 times, most recently by Taun on 12/12/2011 at 9:24 AM

      Taun

      • Avatar
    • Actual Newspaper Headlines

      Some are just slips of the tongue
      • Grandmother of eight makes hole in one
      • Deaf mute gets new hearing in killing
      • Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers
      • House passes gas tax onto senate
      • Stiff opposition expected to casketless funeral plan
      • Two convicts evade noose, jury hung
      • William Kelly was fed secretary
      • Milk drinkers are turning to powder
      • Safety experts say school bus passengers should be belted
      • Quarter of a million Chinese live on water
      • Farmer bill dies in house
      • Iraqi head seeks arms

      Some become unintentionally suggestive
      • Queen Mary having bottom scraped
      • Is there a ring of debris around Uranus?
      • Prostitutes appeal to Pope
      • Panda mating fails - veterinarian takes over
      • NJ judge to rule on nude beach
      • Child's stool great for use in garden
      • Dr. Ruth to talk about sex with newspaper editors
      • Soviet virgin lands short of goal again
      • Organ festival ends in smashing climax

      Grammar often botches other headlines
      • Eye drops off shelf
      • Squad helps dog bite victim
      • Dealers will hear car talk at noon
      • Enraged cow injures farmer with ax
      • Lawmen from Mexico barbecue guests
      • Miners refuse to work after death
      • Two Soviet ships collide - one dies
      • Two sisters reunite after eighteen years at checkout counter

      Once in a while, a botched headline takes on a meaning opposite from the one intended:
      • Never withhold herpes from loved one
      • Nicaragua sets goal to wipe out literacy
      • Drunk drivers paid $1,000 in 1984
      • Autos killing 110 a day, let's resolve to do better

      Sometimes newspaper editors state the obvious
      • If strike isn't settled quickly it may last a while
      • War dims hope for peace
      • Smokers are productive, but death cuts efficiency
      • Cold wave linked to temperatures
      • Child's death ruins couple's holiday
      • Blind woman gets new kidney from dad she hasn't seen in years
      • Man is fatally slain
      • Something went wrong in jet crash, experts say
      • Death causes loneliness, feeling of isolation

        Taun

        • Avatar
      • (This should get some discussion going... rottentomato )

        It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:

        1. a friend
        2 a companion
        3. a lover
        4. a brother
        5. a father
        6. a master
        7. a chef
        8. an electrician
        9. a carpenter
        10. a plumber
        11. a mechanic
        12. a decorator
        13. a stylist
        14. a sexologist
        15. a gynecologist
        16. a psychologist
        17. a pest exterminator
        18. a psychiatrist
        19. a healer
        20. a good listener
        21. an organizer
        22. a good father
        23. very clean
        24. sympathetic
        25. athletic
        26. warm
        27. attentive
        28. gallant
        29. intelligent
        30. funny
        31. creative
        32. tender
        33. strong
        34. understanding
        35. tolerant
        36. prudent
        37. ambitious
        38. capable
        39. courageous
        40. determined
        41. true
        42. dependable
        43. passionate
        44. compassionate

        WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

        45. give her compliments regularly
        46. love shopping
        47. be honest
        48. be very rich
        49. not stress her out
        50. not look at other girls

        AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

        51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
        52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
        53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

        IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

        54. Never to forget:
        * birthdays
        * anniversaries
        * arrangements she makes

        ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^

        HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

        1. Show up naked
        2. Bring Beer

          Taun

          • Avatar
        • Thought this was kinda funny...

          Play

          Polite Bear Waves Hello - a waving bear

          funniest bear i have every seen

          http://www.youtube.com/v/O6Xo21L0ybE

            Taun

            • Avatar
          • Taun said...

            Thought this was kinda funny...

            Too funny, I saw this earlier and was getting ready to post it.

              ss182

              • Avatar
            • Taun

              • Avatar
            • Baby Asked 'Who's Your Favorite Parent?' (VIDEO)

              Play

              Who's Your Favourite?

              It's Maddie vs Daddy as I interrogate my baby daughter to reveal her favourite parent. What takes place is a ruthless contest of cunning and skill... with one of us clearly out of our league. G'day everyone! There have been a lot of questions about how this video came to be, so for those of you interested, here's the brief. I shot this on the eve of my daughter Maddie's first birthday. My wife had originally asked me to put together a photo montage of baby's first year (yes, I'm 'that guy' in our family) but I opted to conduct an interview instead. The idea would be to do one every birthday, as a digital keepsake of each of her years on this planet. Wonderful in theory except that Maddie had other plans. The interview quickly devolved into something of an interrogation when I wasn't getting the answers I so desperately sought. As a final note, my wife and I are completely overwhelmed with the reception of this video. Thank you to all who have offered kind words and I'm glad so many of you have found a smile, laugh or warm, fuzzy feeling from watching it. She delights us every day and I'm thrilled to know I'm not the only one who fell in love upon meeting her for the first time. Even if I'm not her favourite!

              http://www.youtube.com/v/KWFfDyupGpQ

                ss182

                • Avatar
              • I don't remember where I found this one - several years ago...

                Some of you may know my ex-wife. She had started taking flying lessons about the time our divorce started (2002) and she got her license shortly before our divorce was settled (2003). Yesterday afternoon, she narrowly escaped injury in the aircraft she was piloting when she was forced to make an emergency landing in Southern Tennessee (flying to Illinois) because of bad weather. Some could call it a crash; an accident at the least. Our kids were with the grandparents this weekend, thank God.
                National Transportation Safety Board officials have issued a preliminary determination citing pilot error contributed to the accident, and She was flying a single engine aircraft (a basic model, at best) in IFR (instrument flight rating) conditions while only having obtained a VFR (visual flight rules) plan.

                The absence of a post-crash fire was likely due to insufficient fuel on board. No one on the ground was injured.

                Photographs below were taken at the scene show the extent of damage to her aircraft.

                  Taun

                  • Avatar
                • Here's an old video of Stan Silliman:

                  stan at laffs in disguise.mov

                  Silliman is wearing a disguise. You barely recognize him

                  www.youtube.com

                    SilliSooner

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